Touch That Heals: How Massage Can Be Affirming for Queer & Trans Clients

Jaqulyne E Roe
Jun 9
2 min read

Why Queer & Trans Folks Avoid Massage—And Why Affirming Touch Matters

For queer and trans folks, the world doesn’t always feel safe—especially when it comes to our bodies.

Massage therapy has the power to offer more than relief from tension; it can offer affirmation, agency, and a return to self.

As a blind, queer massage therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative intentional, affirming touch can be. And I’ve also felt the fear that comes with not knowing if a space will hold you fully. When a client asks me, “Do you have a husband?”—it can stop me in my tracks. Not because I’m ashamed, but because I don’t always know if it’s safe to answer honestly. That moment of hesitation? That’s something so many of us carry.

This isn’t just about pressure points—it’s about healing in a way that respects your whole identity.

Why Queer & Trans Clients Often Avoid Massage

We carry more than muscle tension. We carry lived experiences that shape how safe we feel being seen, touched, and cared for. Many queer and trans clients avoid massage for reasons that go far beyond the physical:

Fear of misgendering or invasive questions
Anxiety around undressing or body presentation
Past trauma or dysphoria triggers
“Spa culture” being whitewashed, cis-centered, and non-inclusive
Lack of representation among massage therapists

When the world has taught you to brace yourself, even “self-care” can feel like a risk.

What Affirming Touch Actually Looks Like

Affirming touch isn’t just being “welcoming” in theory—it’s about creating real, grounded safety in practice.

That looks like:

Asking for pronouns and preferred names before you’re even on the table
Clear, consent-centered conversations about pressure, draping, and body areas
A no-judgment zone: stretch marks, scars, binders, body hair, top surgery scars—all of you is welcome
Space to give real-time feedback—“too much,” “too little,” or “pause” is always honored

Affirming touch means you never have to shrink or brace yourself. You get to relax fully, because you’re seen fully.

Why It Matters

Massage doesn’t just help muscles—it supports the nervous system. And for LGBTQ+ folks navigating microaggressions, chronic stress, dysphoria, and medical trauma, that regulation is everything.

Lowers cortisol and helps recalibrate the nervous system
For trans clients: alleviates binding pain, supports top surgery recovery, eases hormonal shifts
For queer clients: unwinds the tension of emotional labor, masking, and body hyper-awareness
Rest is revolutionary—and access to it should be, too

What You Can Expect at Jaqu & Cait

This practice was built with love, intention, and lived experience:

A trauma-informed intake process
An LGBTQ+ affirming space (by a queer healer, for queer bodies)
A private in-home studio in Redondo Beach + outcall availability around LA
Modalities including deep tissue, stretch therapy, craniosacral, lymphatic support, and more
Always space to advocate for yourself, ask questions, or simply be held